Evie was raised in a children’s home, became a nurse and raised a family with her husband, Trevor. Appearing safe and secure, they regularly went to church and always went on family holidays.
After 40 years together, Evie had a fall in the garden and sustained a head injury which left her confused and forgetful. It was then that she was referred for support.
Evie said that Trevor was finding her difficult to cope with; he sometimes became angry and screamed at her. She believed he had been a good father and provider and felt very much a burden to him. She excused his hostility or indifference, often blaming herself or appearing bemused at his behaviour.
Evie began to open up about long-standing abuse, physical, mental, emotional and financial. In some instances, the physical abuse was from one of her daughters, who was a “daddy’s girl”. She remained in the marriage so that her children would have a “normal” family.
Trevor then spent much of his time in the caravan at the coast, removing food from the house and controlling all the finances. Evie minimised the abuse and accepted that Trevor had always handled all the money as he had earned it. Also, he felt that Evie was not to be trusted with money as she was “irresponsible”. Neither was Evie to be trusted with his car.
Eventually, Trevor moved into sheltered housing. He took all the furniture and valuables that he believed belonged to him. Evie was struggling financially and found that Trevor was claiming benefits as a married couple, leaving her short of basics such as food and heating.
Hafan Cymru supported Evie to become independent and take control of life, helping her find suitable accommodation and financial freedom.
We referred her to the Community Intervention Team and Age Concern and continue to watch her slowly grow into someone who is enjoying her life.